When I read about the painting Las Dos Fridas by Frida Kahlo on my dear friend’s blog, I was intrigued by her story of what this painting means to her. A year later, and I stumble upon the same paintings by accident. This painting has had a major impact on the Latin Art world. Yesterday, I had to look it up. I just stared at the image of the painting. Stared. And stared. I couldn’t get it off my mind. There is something very intriguing about this painting to me.
Seems like there are two completely different sides of me. Actually, I even feel as if I am a twin soul, on a quest to find my twin. I feel like I was supposed to be a twin, but before I got put to a family in this lifetime, the other half of me went somewhere across the world. I’ve felt as if I had a twin somewhere out in this world ever since I was a kid. I hadn’t thought of it until last summer, when something happened and I got thinking about this again. That’s when I started my quest to find my twin soul – note: twin soul is not the same as soul mate, I believe we actually have a whole soul family. So, you can imagine I’ve been wrecking my brain about this since last summer but haven’t gotten really all that far. Only a few people have known about this until now, when I’m not afraid to talk about this anymore. Yes, I’ll even take the risk of sounding like a crazy person! I have my feet firmly on the ground, certain people keep me very grounded!
In fact, as I’m writing this, I realize number 2 has been following me like a ghost lately. In my searches, two represents Duality, Harmony, Choices, Unity, Balance, A crossroad or choice, Partnership. Which has been the theme for me in my recent past. Life has been a balancing act for me lately, one where I’ve had to go through major decisions and choices, one where I’ve had to find harmony through it all. It hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve found myself go through an intense emotional rollercoaster, where one moment I’m laughing and giggling and 5 minutes later, you find me worrying about everything – if I’ve made the right decisions, if things are going to work out, what am I doing with my life, etc. I guess you could say I’ve lost a sense of my identity a little bit.
So, it is funny how I come across this painting, nearly exactly a year later. Here’s what my friend writes about the painting (I give credit to others when it’s due, and when it’s not my own words!);
On the surface it is obvious that the image is of self-conflict, Frida Kahlo finds herself torn between two identities. On the lefthand side is the European influenced Frida. She is dressed in a white dress of European influence with little flowers located on the bottom border. In her righthand she holds a pair of scissors attempting to stop blood from dripping onto her dress from a vein. There is an open cavity in her chest where we see her visible heart that is cross-sectioned and is connected to the vein dripping onto her dress to the Frida to her left. The Frida on the righthand side is the Mexican Frida, she is wearing the traditional indigenous garment of Mexico (specifically Mexico City area). Her chest cavity is also opened but unlike the Frida on the left, her heart is complete and in her lefthand she is holding a tiny photo of her husband Diego Rivera. At the very epicenter of the painting both Fridas are joined by the hands reinforcing Fridas double penetrating stares onto the viewer. While analyzing this image not only are the two Fridas a direct reference to her internal conflict of identity but it also speaks in symbolism. The gray cloudy background only adds to the sense of confusion and uncertainty.
These are some of the questions that this painting deals with, Frida Kahlo is asking herself about her position in society, her identity as a woman, and artist. She was a socialist, an advocate of the indigenous groups, she dealt with the conflict of her unfaithful husband–she was struggling with a multifaceted struggle of her identities. Her figure is parted into two physical parts but these two selves contain other smaller parts of identity. I don’t want to go too deep into further analysis of these smaller parts which depart from my purpose but they are certainly worth exploring at some point.
Mind you, I’m not bi-cultural, I was born to and raised to a certain culture. This culture gave me the roots to who I am. However, I haven’t really ever belonged to a certain group of people. And when I go back home these days, I find it to be a bit of a cultural shock, to be completely honest. Have I really spent that long abroad that all I have left is roots and nothing more? Being so internationally oriented can be quite rough on a person. I’ve always looked for a place where I could feel completely at ease and at home. I haven’t found that place yet.
I’ve been feeling very dual about things lately. This has started to make me think, if I am actually trying to find a person who is my ‘twin’ or if it is merely a metaphor of how I’ve been feeling, or even just looking for something. Isn’t it funny how I come across Las Dos Fridas, how the number 2 has been in the front center of my life and I’ve been feeling this way?
Today is the full moon. It’s full at 19:19 GMT to be exact. Since the beginning of the year, the full moons have had a more intense grip on me, not just on me but on a lot of people whether they realize this or not. I wanted to read up on this month’s full moon, and I come across this article. What this article basically says, is that April’s full moon is a moon with a sense of displacement. What I get from it, is that this moon feels very double. There is a story of two men placed under arrest, where these men have broken the rules and been under arrest. On the other hand though, the men could be innocent, just caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Furthermore, I don’t know much about Birth charts/Natal Wheel chart, but I was trying to do one yesterday. What I gathered from it that, well yesterday, the sun was in Scorpio – and well, let’s face it, Scorpio’s are quite complex personalities, often feeling dual (or at least the ones I know) and they feel very strongly.
Somehow, all of this is making sense to me. Somehow, puzzle pieces are slowly coming together. And even though, I’ve been feeling dual, battling with harmony, somehow I know that the Universe is looking after me. Somehow, I know I’m on the right path, finding what I’m supposed to find. I just need to have the patience to let it all come naturally to me. I may be lost, but everything’s temporary, and I will find myself again. I will walk on the path I know I’m supposed to walk on.