Liberating Changes

I’ve seen it first-hand (or is it second-hand when it doesn’t happen to you but to someone else close to you) what the right kind of setting can do! Where I live now is not the right setting for me, I know that now. I realized it when I came back from my holiday the other day. I can see myself having the potential of being confident, down-to-earth, “businesswoman” (though I don’t know if I’d be one..who knows at this point though), loving, proud. That is how I feel I would be in the right setting. Not this whiny, emotional, unstable with a sorry-for-herself-attitude that I have now. I’ve never been uptight, nor will I ever become uptight, I’m way too relaxed for that! I know I can become anything I want, it just won’t happen here. I’ve realized that there are even karmic ties with this country, just not entirely sure what they are as of yet. I just know that I’ve come here to learn some very valuable and important lessons, and now it is time for me to move on.

 

As I stepped out of the airport, I realized for the first time I’m not sorry for myself, I’m not anxious, I’m not anything negative. I’m fired up, I want to leave here. The coming month will be a “vacation” month for me, although not much of a vacation as I will be working my not-so-little butt off. I think that this is the energy of Ace of Swords as well. What is even funnier, is that this will be January, and Ace is nr 1 – new year, new beginnings, new chances, new fire. With that said, as I came into the apartment, I actually felt a bit claustrophobic, I got anxious. I know that this is not the setting for me, it’s never been. It has been a setting of many lessons learned, very necessary ones. Immediately as I did come here, I started craving for chocolate, wanting to go back to the old ways of living. There is nothing about this country that makes me want to stay here. It has taught me everything I have needed to learn and now it’s time to move on. So, I’m ignoring the anxiety feeling and paying attention to the fire within me. Or will try my hardest to ignore it, and believe me, it’s not always so easy.

 

I had to go through in my head, most things that happened while I was on my holiday – the good, the bad, the laughter, the cries. So, keeping in mind Ace of Swords – which is actually turning out to be the main card for January! – a lot will happen. I’m ready for it though. Now more than ever, I must get out of here. I have such fire to get things in motion, to reorganize my life and start acting upon my dreams. Dreams do change, and right now, I have a couple of dreams I do want to accomplish but just not entirely sure in which order. I am afraid of making them come my reality – I’m afraid of the unknown but I’m also a little afraid of what my family may think. However, it is my life that I’m living, not theirs. I have to do what I feel is the best thing for me, I have to make my own mistakes and move on from them. If I don’t, I won’t learn anything nor will I ever take any chances. If I don’t take chances, what am I living for then? I just need to have the courage to follow my heart. I need to follow my own advice of what I’ve been saying to following heart, however, it is always easier to advice someone than follow your own advice. I feel I am now ready to actually starting to live my dreams, one by one making each come true.

 

I am now ready to let go of the excess baggage I’ve been carrying these past couple of years. I’m actually now ready to make the change I have started this past summer. In fact, I want to let go of the physical things I have been keeping and bringing from one apartment to another as I have moved. I will throw out most things this coming month, only keeping a few items I still want/need. I have already thrown out so many things in my last move but not enough. I feel liberation from the old. I feel that I will let go of the final weight I carry on my shoulders everyday, making it a struggle for me to fully live. This may have been the reason why I have been feeling so anxious – I wasn’t ready to let go of it all yet, next to that I feel like I am reminded of my past in my daily life, something I cannot deal with. The wounds are still open. They have stopped bleeding but they haven’t even started healing yet. It is hard to be reminded of the past daily, especially when you want to let go and move on.

 

I have seen it first-hand how it is to live fully free from the old. This person is now blooming, they’ve become the person I had always seen there was the potential. This person is now a very confident, one who wants to make everyone laugh but still comfortable enough to be sensitive and show it occasionally. Another friend of mine has just recently moved quite far away from where they used to live, even if they’re struggling, they’re still enjoying life and the change they have decided to make. Even if I may be a few steps behind, I’m slowly feeling like I am becoming more and more myself, having the confidence to actually say that I am proud of my own creations. This is now becoming my reality. With the fire that is burning inside me, I now have a goal I’m working towards. I can now let go, or the time will come very soon. It still may be an emotional ride, somewhat hard even, if I just keep on seeing the glimpses of this, I know I will be fine. I know things will work out, and they will go the way they’re supposed to. I just need to follow my heart, and not let anyone bring me down, even if they think this may not be the right choice for me. I need to be confident and trust myself more.

_________

 

The lesson from me to you here is for you to follow your heart, do it confidently, and do not let anyone bring you down! Changes are now more and more evident, the world is changing. It is up to you how you will handle it – will you change along with it or fight against it. Let go of the old, of the excess. You are going in the right direction, you will know this if you listen to your heart. Things are going the way they’re supposed to, even if you think they’re not and even if it hurts more than you think you cannot handle. Do not fight it, let it come to you. You can cry all you want, I should know it is not an easy process – I’ve been battling since the summer! Trust me when I say, you will feel that much better, and best of all, liberated!

 

Cognitive Dissonance = Ignorance?

Big words on the title, huge really. Hard words to perhaps even understand, or grasp. Let me explain what I mean.
Cognitive Dissonance is more or less when you feel uncomfortable tension which comes from holding two conflicting thoughts in the mind at the same time. So you believe that you are good but do something bad, causing you to feel discomfort, which is the essence of cognitive dissonance. You then justify your behavior. For example, you are environmental friendly so you use the public transport to go to work or school. However, you have a car. When you drive your car, you justify it “oh, I don’t drive it that much” or “why should I be the victim of doing the effort of being environmental friendly when no one else is”.

This is a very touchy subject I’m going to take now but it just brings out emotions out of me, and I no longer want to be quiet about it, which I think our society has done over the decades.

There was this experiment in the 60′s done on children. Depending on the eye color (blue or brown), you were either discriminated or enforced positively. The experiment was a simple experiment of what is happening even today – racism. The blue eyed children were the ‘privileged ones’ where they got extra recess time, positive enforcement and  sorts. While the brown eye children didn’t get any privileges at all and the teacher had a negative tone in her voice. The blue eyed couldn’t play with the brown eyed. This was conditioning the children themselves to think that they’re dumber or better than the rest.

In the beginning the children were asked if there are any people underprivileged, they immediately thought of Black people and Indian (Native Americans). My first question is why do these under 10 year-old children think this? My thoughts: because the society has conditioned it in their brains from early on through the authority, mainly parents and teachers. Furthermore, more often than not even today Black people think they’re ‘dumber’ than the rest. Why? Because they have been taught to believe this. However, most cannot even say why they feel the way they do, it goes back that far.

I can say that I have grown up in a rather privileged conditions – my parents have always reinforced of what I have done, believed in me, told me I can do anything, and told me the world is open for me. This is very positive conditioning. I have followed this path. The only thing that has had a negative enforcement has been when I was bullied at school, and I have learned that his is where most of my insecurities come from, if not all.

You may be wondering what ignorance has to do with all of this. How many times do you justify what you know you’re doing wrong, that you’re not? Or tell yourself “but because the others..” or “I was asked to do this”. What many people don’t seem to realize is that media has a lot to do with this. They describe the person who has done a crime “black male, about 6 feet tall..” and eventually it will be in our heads.  The next time you see a tall black male, you feel intimidated, and you don’t even realize why you feel that way. In other words by justifying our way of thinking or doing things is reinforcing ignorance.

What do you know about your country’s government? Surely you have an idea, and the information you get is through mainstream media. How often do you hear the other side of the coin? So, do you know what exactly is going on, when you’re given only one side? I just want you to think about what impact the media has in your life but also what you truly know about your government and if they’re truly thinking of YOUR benefits or their own.

Think about TV and what comes out of the channels, mainly these days it’s rubbish. A reality show, one after another. Sexuality has been part of it the past couple of decades. Think about music videos – children look up to the artists they listen to, and yet they are very sexual videos you see. Often objectifying women. Rihanna who happens to be one of the top names in music industry, has a video out where she’s in chains, men almost violating her, which she doesn’t even seem to mind. While this video was banned in some countries, in most countries it was shown even during day time. What kind of a message does that send to children? Don’t even get me started on fashion..

It seems that because we are so busy all the time, we don’t even have the time to have a proper meal with the family anymore. In fact, now we either go to a fast food joint or get a pre-made meal from the store. All of the pre-made meals are made in a factory, containing unnatural things that we shouldn’t even have. Food is to be enjoyed from nature, how did the cavemen survive? They hunt their own food, went fishing, used nature’s own resources. As to fast-food joints, someone once told me when they lived in a country where there is a fast-food joint in every corner that they felt a bit dumber, it was as if something happened in their brain. We need good nutrition from nature.

What about education? Why do the best schools cost so much, that only the ‘elite’ can afford to go there? Why aren’t the other schools acknowledged as well?

Somehow, I get the feeling that we are being held down by our society, the government, the elite – what ever you want to call it. It feels as if they don’t want us to be well-educated or think anymore. We don’t even have jobs for uneducated people, and there are studies even to become a cleaner. Don’t you just hear the bells ringing, don’t you see the red flag flickering? Yet, we continue to obey the rules, work in places where you don’t even need to use your brain.

With all of that said, we are starting rebel against all of this. People are breaking out of negative situations. We are finally starting to wake up. However, you don’t answer to negative with negative. Nothing pisses off more than if you stay calm, enforce positivism to the people in control. Negative only reinforces negativity, and then it becomes an endless spiral. If you break out of that, stay calm and show love to everyone, even strangers, this world would be a much happier place.

I would like to end this post with the following. As small or corny as this may sound, I find it to be very accurate; everything starts with yourself. Please, start with yourself, and stand-up. Make a change within. If we all think this way, we will be together, we will be united. Nothing can stop us anymore. My final question to you is, with all that you have learned – Are you being brainwashed?