La vita e bella

So many things have been going on lately, that I’m not even sure where to begin. In the past months I’ve been succumbing and being on my own for the most part. Not really interacting with anyone. This has been what I’ve needed to do in order to deal with issues I can no longer hide from. It’s been a whirlwind of emotions, let me tell you this. In the past month or so, I’ve been sick twice, the last time it was really bad and I almost thought I would die. As I had these thoughts, I knew in my heart that this is metaphoric – merely bodily manifestation of what’s going on within. Of finally releasing what’s been bottled up inside.

Lately I’ve been wanting to have a deeper understanding of what’s going on in this world. I watch my shows and often think to myself, what am I watching? The jokes seem weird. Some of the lines on these shows make no sense to me. The drama is almost too much to keep watching. And yet, I cannot turn it off. It’s as if I’m in trans-liked state. Being a conspiracy theorist comes to my disadvantage here as I start doubting if these thoughts are because I’ve been reading upon it. Because I question everything.

Then I read the news – not because I want to but because I have nothing else to do, I used to not read the news at all! – the negativity is just overwhelming. If it’s not someone murdering another, it’s about the tough financial situation many countries are facing, the political issues, but what strikes me personally the most, is the fact that there are a lot of protests against something. The way I look at things is why don’t you celebrate the beautiful being that you are rather than go against to protest something, to categorize yourself in a box. La vita e bella, life is beautiful, and so are you. It is time to start loving life, loving yourself, loving the nature as that is so much more fulfilling than anything else in this world.

By watching these shows that I do, and thinking to myself what am I watching, by reading the news with all the negative happenings, now more than ever I feel being pressured by media. I feel media is trying to influence how I should behave. It is a way of being controlled. Even the music I listen to, doesn’t inspire me in the least, and it used to. It used to be a way out for me, to express myself, to get lost in the beautiful melodies of instruments. Of words that would express almost exactly how I feel. These days, the songs have no meaning. It’s just about partying, and all other things that are meaningless.

I guess what I’m battling the most with at the moment is, at heart I feel free, I am free. When I see the worldly manifestations, it doesn’t match up. It is filled with negativity, things our egos need to be fed with. All of it is just lies after lies. When are the people going to wake up to what is actually going on, and what is important in this worldly manifestation we call the Mother Earth?

I choose not to be put in a box, I choose to be me and the fact that I am a beautiful earthly being. I see what’s going on, I’ve seen it for a longer time. This is my deeper understanding. And yet, my ego is telling me that I’m crazy, I’m going crazy. What if the people who have been labeled as “schizophrenic”, having “dissociative identity disorder”, or “bipolar disorder” really have seen things in different perspective, have understood what I have understood? But they have been put in these boxes because the governments don’t want us to be free, they don’t want us to understand? What if people who are “diagnosed” (read: labeled or categorized) with such diseases are easier to control by being put in medication? My what if list is endless, and I don’t want to get sidetracked here.

The point I’m trying to say is, rise above it and feel the love. Free yourself from “should” “have to” “must” for those have negative influence on you. Free yourself from labels. Rather than going against something, and protesting, find the love. Find the positive and loving aspect of things for it is much more fulfilling than anything else! Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling, acknowledge it, accept it, and thank for it. This will help release whatever it is that you’re feeling, positive or negative.

The way I see things, the life we live has no borders. Countries, religion they are border-less. For if we love one another, there is no need to protest. There’s no need for battles or wars.

The manuscript of survival – part 281

Once again this post rang true to me so much that I couldn’t keep it just for myself. Please find the original from here.

 

For many of you, the upheavals you have been experiencing lately, indeed are maybe still in the midst of, will signal an important departure from much of what you have looked upon as an integral part of your life. For now, everything that does not serve you anymore will be slowly but surely extracted from your life, but as most of these things have very deep roots indeed, it will not be a very swift process. You see, much of this are issues that have been allowed to bury themselves deep, deep within your psyche in some way, and as such, this extraction process will not be without its challenges. For, as we have talked about so many times earlier, your whole human set up has been designed in such a way it craves stability more than anything, and now, that is the last thing you can expect. So these bouts of energetic cleanups coming in now will have you all tossing and turning from all of this intense removal, so the very ground beneath your feet will seem to be less than stable at times too.

Let us explain. As it always is with these energetic immersions you are once again in the middle of, they will seem to disturb so much, and your equilibrium will be almost guaranteed to be lost for longer or shorter periods during all of this. We speak both of the more emtional processes, but also of purely physical ones. So you will feel yourself stumbling more than once during the next few days, as everything you have on the inside, and indeed also on the outside, will seem to be endlessly shifting around, and in addition it will do so seemingly out of synch with everything else. So expect to lose your footing in more ways than one, but know also that if, or rather when, you find yourself falling to your knees in some ways, you will always be able to get back up on your feet.

We tell you this as a reminder that this is not about breaking you down, it is in fact all about rebuilding you, but this process can easily be misconstrued as the other way around. For you will all in some ways suffer the consequences from this, in many ways brutal, process. But again we say, this is not to make you suffer, this is only to ensure that you will emerge victorious at the other end of this journey. So try to stay calm, even if the storms you will face up ahead will have you seriously considering if you will be able to weather them at all. And please know that there is no shame in holding on to something in order to help you stay on your feet throughout all of this. And when we say something, we might as well rephrase that to someone. But please choose well in whom you turn to in all of this, for a wise soul will know to choose another wise soul for comfort, whether it be one of your fellow men, or one of us. For if you choose to cling onto someone that has already succumbed to their own fear, they will not help to keep you standing, they will only ensure that you will not be able to stand up ever again after immersing yourself in this sea of fear they are apt to create. So again we say be sure to connect with your true brothers and sisters in this, lest you should accidentally pick someone much less buoyant in order to help you to stay afloat in these days ahead. For you will all need support in some way through all of this, so it will do no good if you choose to latch onto someone already going under in their own sea of despair.

Again, we come to give you encouragement, not to take away any last vestiges of hope that you might have. For this is not an easy ride, not in any way, but never forget you are more than able to complete it. For that powerhouse you all harbour inside has only just started to come alive, but it will gain momentum for each day now. So do not think you have taken your last breath, even if you may at some point get the wind knocked out of you, for you have just begun to breathe freely, without the restrictions that have been holding you down for eons. So again we say, focus on that breath, for it is indeed more important than you can understand now, and it will help you through even the worst of these squalls that are currently hovering on the horizon. For you are indeed build of strong stuff dear ones, they very stuff the stars are made of, and you cannot be snuffed out as easily as you mayhaps think at the moment. You will continue to shine brightly, even through the darkest hour of the storm, and as such, you will also help others. And by your light, others will also find their way to a safe harbour, and by your grace, you will do the same too. For you have not lost yourself yet, and you will not do so either, as long as you keep your gaze averted from all of those trying to lure you into their deep pool of fear.

So stay afloat, and fasten your eyes on all of those other islands of love that are right there beside you, and together you will soon feel your feet touching solid ground once again. And you will know with all of your heart that you can never ever be dragged down into that deep void of emptiness that so many others so willingly have lost themselves. For you will emerge onto dry land, and you will do so only to discover that this is indeed familiar ground. For you have been here before, but only in your dreams, but now, it will turn out to be reality.

The lack of trust

Life on the blog has been rather quiet. I know I say it in each post every time lately. Still, I do apologize for the quiet times. Truth be told, I’ve not been in the best of moods lately. Life has been a rollercoaster, and finally I feel like I’m losing my grip. But this is not something I want to post. It is not something I tell anyone really.

I have come to notice that I don’t trust people anymore. It takes years for me to build that trust with someone, and if things fall apart after those years, I don’t take it lightly. In fact, I start thinking to myself why did I even try for all those years, just to end up here in the first place? Sure, I don’t regret it – I try not to regret anything I do in my life. It just hurts me too much when the relationship I’ve worked for ends up being lost. (Relationship to me can be any relationship, partner, friend, family member etc.)

Then there are those people who I adore and want to be closer to in my life, and we once were, but not anymore. I’m starting to think I live in some kind of illusion world, where things go the way I’ve wanted them to. Not in reality, of how things actually are. I sometimes even make things up just so I feel better. This has started to happen more and more lately, which is leading me to think I live in an illusion.

Someone once told me that we get caught up in this worldly way of life, and because we don’t see certain things we believe it not to be true or happening. When in fact, it is the other way around, this worldly way of life IS the illusion and things we don’t see but we think are happening, are really happening.

That is where I, myself, get very confused. It is unfortunate but this world is rather egotistical and derives on money. One should have good education. One should be career focused and yet find time to have a family but not more than 2 children. I have always had my beliefs, and the way I see things. My beliefs are compressed completely by the society. I am afraid that because of my strong beliefs, one day I will go crazy because I cannot distinguish “reality” and “illusion” anymore.

How does this relate to me not trusting people? In the way that I cannot open up to people about my beliefs as I fear for their judgement. I fear that people think I’m crazy. I sometimes think I’m crazy, why wouldn’t someone else think that as well? I judge myself. I’m hard on myself. I find it hard to love myself, to put myself first, when happiness comes from within.

I also get down on myself for when I’m having a hard time. I’m generally a positive person. It’s just lately I’ve been having a hard time finding happiness. I’ve realized I love to love, and if I don’t have someone to love I question my whole existence. I can be independent no problem, as long as I know that at the end of the day, I can go home to the person I love the most in this world.

There is nothing more pure in all of existence than genuine, authentic love. I love loving. I should start trusting as well. Maybe one day.

 

Why It’s OK to be Lost And Confused

Reblogged from Love, life, shits & giggles:

I am a wanderer, always have and always will be. This doesn't mean that I am a 100% sure of what I should be doing in life. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I've started to think that maybe our point in life is to be lost and confused, so that we may find our core self or our true purpose in the end.

Read more… 1,697 more words

I normally don't reblog things - but this particular post just helped me, and I felt that it will help many of you as well.

The manuscript of survival – part 274

This original post is from Aisha North, a blog that I love to follow and read. Her writing and thoughts give me hope personally, hope you enjoy it too!

For quite some time now, you have felt how the surge of energy has increased, and with it, things have started to manifest. For some of you, these manifestations seem to limit themselves to some physical outbursts of irritation, and mayhaps some rather intense emotional ones as well. But for others, things have started to seep out in the open, and even if some of these signals may seem feeble at best, they are in fact only forerunners for what is to come. And on the best of days, you will all feel this deep certainty within as you will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that this world that you inhabit has already changed beyond recognition. Not on the thin film of illusion that still covers it, but deep within the core. And deep within the core is where the truth is, as the rest is only a projection, a film still running to make you all think that it is business as usual.

 

But what is ”business as usual”? A continuous cycle of fear and greed that have fuelled each other for so long. Well, that cycle has been broken, and it can never be put back together again. For you are no longer willing fodder to this machinery of endless consumerism, for you do not buy into their vision of happiness anymore. For you have seen through all of this glitter and glam, and you have realized that true happiness comes from something else, something that is so profound, and it resembles nothing that can be bought for money. For that is what has been holding this charade together in the first place, this idea that true happiness comes from partaking of all of the worldly goods that are being displayed in the glass windows in any store. And the idea that you simply cannot be happy before you have it all is one that has been driving this wheel of fortune for generations. But there is not enough of anything, whether it be money or objects, that will quench this thirst for something to fill that giant void inside.

 

And so it has been going on and on, in this endless quest for fulfillment and redemption. But the only thing coming out of this, is more fear and then more greed, and the two have fuelled each other in such a way it has driven mankind, and with it Mother Earth, to the brink of self-destruction. But you have halted in your tracks, pulled off this yoke that has been pulling you ever forward towards this precipice, and you have started to push this momentum in a very different direction indeed. And now, the rest of this machinery has started to feel the effect from your new gravitation. For it is just like a magnet that is being pulled along by a seemingly invisible force, as your energy is starting to have a profound effect, not only on your existence, but on everything that exists. For you are not just single individuals making a new choice about your own way of life. You are also powerful generators of a field of energy that is starting to affect everything within a large radius around you. And even if you are small in numbers compared to the rest of the population on this planet, your field of influence is already powerful, but it is also growing by the day.

So now, you are pulling more and more into your field, and by your very presence, you are also affecting those around you, and by that, maximizing the effect these new energies have. For you are the anchors, and through you run the current that is amping up the volume on this whole globe. And you are all starting to hum just like an electric generator is emitting a low, but continuous sound as it generates that invisible power. So do not think that you are just a small drop in the sea of humanity. No, you are in fact as effective as superconductors, and you are putting out a steadily increasing amount of energy that is slowly but surely making its mark on everything around you. So yes, you are all busy changing the world, even if you at the moment feel you are barely scraping along yourself. For you are all powerhouses, and the combined effect from all of these amazing fields of energy is nothing short of miraculous. And now, you have already gotten the first glimpses of how this energy is literally starting to pull the old illusion apart. For this flimsy structure holds no power against the one you are wielding. For your power comes from the heart, and there is nothing that old fear based power structure can muster that will be able to staunch the flow from all of you.

 

So know that change is already here, and it will continue to grow in speed and intensity as the old structures will continue to crumble at a speed that many outsiders will look upon as an alarming rate. But you will know better, for you will know that this was a long time coming, but now it is finally here. And when the old dies down, the new and healthy shoots will emerge, and with them, a whole new structure will emerge. And this structure is not a flimsy illusion like the old one, for this structure has been build to last, and as such, you presence here on this planet is also guaranteed. For what will emerge is a way of life that is sustainable in every sense of the word, and then, you can create a brand new world where you and your planet will cohabit in peace and harmony forever.

Decluttering

Life on the blogosphere has been quiet – I apologize for that.

 

I don’t even have any proper excuse. Except that since I now live on my tablet, it makes typing a whole blog post hard. I’ve been tired, exhausted really. Still dealing with and letting go of 2012, such an intense year. I don’t really know what I need to do to fully let go of the past year but I guess I am doing it somehow.

 

Do you know how important it is to deal with the past year? Imagine this: you keep buying new things for your house, whether it be your personal longings such as clothes or some decorations you like to look at in your house or kitchen utilities. You keep accumulating these things. You do your weekly cleaning (which is a small part of cleaning) but you never really go through what you have in your house. You even forget what you have because it is somewhere in the bottom of the drawer. Your space keeps getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Soon you won’t have any room left as it has become so cluttered. You barely have any room for yourself to live! That is your mind. It’s cluttered because you haven’t cleaned it fully. You haven’t gone through the necessary things, nor been able to let go of those thoughts/manners that doesn’t serve you anymore. It is full with the past.

 

 

 

How can you have any room for anything new if it’s cluttered in the first place? At one point you run out of your space. When that point is reached, you know you need to do the necessary cleaning and decluttering. To prevent that from happening, you can start just cleaning one month, six months, 12 months and clean that first. If you haven’t dealt with, in other words cleaned, your past several years, all the way possibly to when you were born, it will be very hard to enjoy the present moment. As a result, you get glimpses of your past, reliving moments, thinking of the good and the bad times, how you could have done something differently, and so on. But you see, one should live in the present for it is a gift.

 

 

How you clean your space, is up to you. I suggest that you do it as soon as possible. It is a process and depending on how much you have to clean, it may be awhile till everything is fully solved. Some may even need some (professional) help to be able to go through it all. Once everything is resolved fully, you can start living in the present and actually enjoying every single moment, thinking it is a gift.

 

Personally, I am still in the process. I have dealt with most of last year, I think. However, I haven’t dealt with all the other years all the way to my childhood. While I have been very lucky as a child to be born to a good household, there are still some internal issues that affect my everyday life. It is only now that I realize, I actually might need professional help myself. I am not ashamed of this for I know it is part of my path. Things need to be dealt with. I can’t do it on my own. I, myself, am asking for help. It feels extremely good to ask for help actually. If I can do it, you can do it too. I encourage you to listen deep within what it is you need to resolve the past, and do not be afraid to do it.